User talk:Ajax 013/Ajax Facts
Aren't these Chuck Norris facts with "Chuck Norris" taken out and "Ajax" put in. -- The State(Our Decrees and Law)( ) 00:49, 9 April 2008 (UTC) LOL!--''The'' [[w:c:halofanon:Category:The evil O,malley|'O’']][[User:The evil O,malley|''Malley'']] 01:47, 9 April 2008 (UTC) Yes, and it works so perfectly. --MCPO James DavisLOMI HQI here your cries 14:26, 9 April 2008 (UTC) I concur. -- The State(Our Decrees and Law)( ) 00:33, 10 April 2008 (UTC) Still....I don't exactly like the quite blatant use of Chuck Norris Facts, what if you made totally different ones? -- The State(Our Decrees and Law)( ) 23:02, 16 April 2008 (UTC) Well... I could try, but it probably won't be done for a long time. --MCPO James DavisLOMI HQI here your cries 14:17, 17 April 2008 (UTC) There were really three speeds in the statement. --Kebath 'Holoree 19:25, 19 April 2008 (UTC) those r all chuck Norris Jokes, n ure mssin out on the best 1s! CN can slam a revolving door, wen CN does push ups he doesnt push himeslf up, he pushes the world down and little kids wear superman pygamas, superman wears CN pygamas. Just Another GruntConverse 21:55, 29 April 2008 (UTC) I know, but I've been told by a person to not blatantly plagairize them. --MCPO James DavisLOMI HQI here your cries 22:03, 29 April 2008 (UTC) I have only one question (I actually have a lot but are too lazy to ask), why did you pick Ajax? -- The State(Our Decrees and Law)( ) 02:33, 30 April 2008 (UTC) Because, out of all the people I know, Ajax immediately came to mind when I first read Chuck Norris jokes. --MCPO James DavisLOMI HQI here your cries 14:27, 30 April 2008 (UTC) Put on this fact.... Ajax can slap people back in time and kick them forward. Factsplosion Here are some Ajax Facts. I know some of them may already be on there, but whatever. The first rule of Ajax is: You do not talk about Ajax. Ajax can divide by zero. The chief export of Ajax is pain. Ajax did, in fact, build Rome in a day. Ajax counted to infinity-twice. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Ajax. Ajax doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he needs. Ajax doesn't wear a watch. HE decides what time it is. Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet as Ajax. Ajax is so fast he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head. Ajax uses a nightlight. Not because he's scared of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of Ajax. Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Ajax to go around. When Ajax does a push-up, he's not pushing himself up; he's pushing the Earth down. If a tree falls in the forest, does anybody hear? Yes, Ajax hears it. Ajax hears everything. Ajax played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won. Ajax does not own a stove, oven, or microwave because revenge is a dish best served cold. If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Ajax would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period. When Ajax was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Ajax. There is no such thing as global warming. Ajax was cold so he turned the sun up. Ninjas want to grow up to be like Ajax. But usually they grew up just to be killed by Ajax. Staring at Ajax for extended periods of time without proper eye protection will cause blindness and possibly bruises over the body. How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? All of it. Ajax would personally watch the woodchuck and kill it if it attempted to take a break. When you're Ajax, anything + anything = 1-one kill, one point. Ajax grinds coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his rage. Ajax does not "style" his hair. It stays perfectly in place out of fear. Lightning does not strike twice in one place because Ajax is looking for it. There are no such things as tornadoes. Ajax just hates trailer parks. Ajax let the dogs out. Ajax got his driver's license at the age of 16. Seconds. Ajax is not only a noun, but a verb. The Manhatten Project was not intended to create nuclear weapons. It was meant to recreate the destructive power Ajax makes when he gets mad. They didn't even come close. Ajax will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him. Ajax crossed the road. No one has ever dared quesion his motives. Ajax is the only man who has literally beaten the odds. With his fists. Ajax can kill through the six degrees of seperation, killing anyone, anywhere, at any time. Ajax can, in fact, "raise the roof". And he can do it with only one hand. Ajax knows everything there is to know-except the definition of "mercy". Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, but Ajax beats all three at the same time. Ajax was once in a knife fight and the knife lost. If you're in an office with Ajax, don't ask him for his three-hole punch. Ajax doesn't sleep. He waits. The chemical formula for the annihilative ion (I made this up) anonidide is A. This is also the first letter of Ajax's name. This is not a coincidence. Ajax's pulse is measured on the Richter scale. Ajax has a deep and abiding respect for human life-unless it gets in his way. America is not a democracy, but an Ajaxchy. Dinosaurs are extince because of the Ajaxasaurus. If at first you don't succeed, you're not Ajax. Ajax knows the last digit of Pi. Ajax can taste lies. Inside of Ajax there isn't a heart. There's just another killing machine. Ajax, Brad Pitt, and Johnny Depp all died in a plane crash and went to Heaven. God asked them what their business there was. Brad Pitt said, "I want to be your right-hand man." Johnny Depp said "I want to be your left-hand man." Ajax said, "Get the hell outta my chair, God." Ajax went to the Virgin Islands. They are now called The Islands. Ajax is the reason why Waldo is hiding. God said "Let there be light!" Ajax said, "Say please." Ajax has proven that we are truly alone in the universe. We weren't before his first space mission. When Truman decided to drop an atomic bomb on Hiroshima for World War II, it was because he thought atom-bombing was more humane than sending in Ajax. Ajax doesn't go hunting because the word implied the probability of failure. Ajax goes killing. Ajax sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Ajax kicked the devil in the balls and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month. Ajax sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th and it wasn't Jesus birthday. Jesus was to scared to correct Ajax and to this day December 25th is known as Jesus' birthday. God wanted 10 days to build the world. Ajax gave him 6. Ajax can kill two stones with one bird. Apple pays Ajax 99 cents every time he listens to a song. Ajax was once tested for steroids. When the results were positive, Ajax just said, "What do you think steroids are made of?" Ajax once rode a bull and threw a China stop. The only thing that broke was the bull. When Ajax was born, he cut his own umbilical cord. He then used it to strangle the doctor who slapped him. Ajax's feet are made of boot material, so he does not need to wear boots. Ajax once won a gun fight with a knife. Ajax can get Black-Jack with one card. People worship God. God worships Ajax. Ajax has never tried to escape from jail. Jail has tried to escape from Ajax. The urine of Ajax is said to add 300 horsepower to your engine when added to your gas. Ajax once ate an entire cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it. Ajax can speak Braille. Ajax can slam a revolving door. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Ajax pajamas. Ajax does not wear a condom, because there is no such thing as protection from Ajax. Oxygen needs Ajax to survive. Sharks don't live in the sea because they can't breathe on land. They live at sea because Ajax lives on land. There is no "CTRL" button on Ajax's computer because Ajax is always in control. .....Once again, recycled Chuck Norris facts. -- The State(Decrees and Law)( ) 04:11, 7 September 2008 (UTC) More Ajax Facts Once again, some may be on there. I'll start with this one and splurge others. While practicing with his punching bag made of titanium, Ajax punched the bag so hard it broke the speed of light, went back in time, and hit Amelia Earhart's plane while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean. Crop circles are Ajax's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down. Ajax is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing. The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Ajax out. It failed miserably. Contrary to popular belief, Ajax, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, and the feeling of being repeatedly killed by a punch to the face. Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Ajax has 72... and they're all poisonous. If you ask Ajax what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he kills you. Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls. When AJax sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Ajax has not had to pay taxes, ever. The quickest way to a man's heart is with Ajax. Ajax invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear. ABC was originally created as the "Ajax Broadcasting Network" to update the world with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time Ajax can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Ajax allows to live. What was going through the minds of all of Ajax's victims before they died? His shoe. Ajax is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis. Police label anyone attacking Ajax as a Code 45-11.... a suicide. Ajax doesn't churn butter. He kills the cows and they explode into butter. Ajax doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them. A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Ajax and that you will be handicapped if you park there. Ajax will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia. Someone once videotaped Ajax getting pissed off. It was called The Texas Chain Saw Massacre. If you spell Ajax in Scrabble, you win. Forever. Ajax originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to perform a finishing move which instantly killed all combatants, including allies, except Ajax himself. When asked bout this "glitch," Ajax replied, "That's no glitch." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Ajax once and he will kill you. The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Ajax played in second grade. Ajax once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!" Ajax once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Ajax re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer. Ajax has two speeds: Walk and Kill. Someone once tried to tell Ajax that killing someone hand-to-hand isn't the best way to kill people. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made. Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Ajaxacy. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Ajax once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate. Ajax is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Ajax. Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Ajax's warm-up exercises. Ajax is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and what method he will use to kill you. In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Ajax turned that wine into beer. Ajax can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?" Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Ajax. Ajax discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Ajax is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Ajax broke both of Einstien's legs beyond repair. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking. Ajax doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths. The Ajax military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Ajax could use to kill you, including the room itself. According to the Encyclopedia Brittanica, the Native American "Trail of Tears" has been redefined as anywhere that Ajax walks. Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after Ajax punched them. When Ajax goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket. There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Ajax has breathed on. Ajax once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Ajax won by 5. Ajax was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Ajax's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious spinal cord breaking related injuries. Ajax sheds his skin twice a year. Even Morez Ajax Facts! Damn, it's been a long time since I posted here. The facts were shamelessly/shamefully stolen from http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/new.html All were copied and manually typed, some were merged, some were modified. When Ajax looks in the mirror nothing appears. There can never be a second Ajax. When there's a fire, you stop, drop, and roll. When there's an Ajax, you stop, drop, and die. We don't know if Ajax enjoys a good fight. He's never had one. Ajax bites the hand that feeds him and eats their entrails. An apple a day keeps the doctor away. An Ajax a day kills. Ajax can unscramble an egg. When Ajax wants popcorn, he breathes on Nebraska. Ajax has a vacation home on the sun. Ajax uses red hot lava to moisturize his skin. Ajax invented the apple. Ajax built Mount Everest with a bucket and spade. Ajax does not age. Every birthday, it's just another year added to his existence, which sucks for you. Ajax does not have chest hair, he has millions of highly venomous nematocysts. You have virtually no chance of surviving the venomous sting, unless treated immediately. The pain is so excruciating and overwhelming that you would most likely go into shock and collapse a split second before getting your spine broken. Ajax can chug a gallon of milk and not throw up. Ajax beat the Sun in a staring contest. If you get your spine broken by Ajax in your dream, you die. Ajax can have his cake and eat it too. Ajax was born in a log cabin that he built with his bare hands. Some people get lucky and kill two birds with one stone. Ajax once killed four birds with half a stone. What's that? You say there's no such thing as half a stone? The four dead birds didn't think so either. Ajax can lick his elbow. In fact, he can lock both of his elbows at the same time. A is for Ajax, as is every letter of the alphabet. Ajax puts the "fun" in "funeral". Ajax's paradise is war. Ajax is capable of photosynthesis. Ajax has never had a surprise birthday party. He can never be surprised. Ever. Ajax does not love Raymond. He hates him with all his guts. Ajax can literally kick start a car. Ajax doesn't breathe, he just holds air hostage. Ajax wrote a biography... it was just a list of everyone he has killed. Einstein's original Theory of Relativity was; if Ajax hits you, your relatives will feel it. Bigfoot takes pictures of Ajax. As seen in "Halopedians: A Humour Diary of Halopedia And Its Users/Demigods", Ajax can climb a rope with one hand, and one hand only. Ajax does not dance, he simply kills to the beat. Ajax can make water run uphill. Ajax can hold Puff Daddy down. The moon was actually a comet that was once on course to hit the Earth... then Ajax punched it into orbit. Ajax can strike a match on a bar of soap. Ajax once played Russian Roulette with Metal Gear REX's nuclear railgun and won. The only reason the color pink still exists is Ajax only sees the colors he wants to see. Ajax is allowed to talk about Fight Club. Ajax is not afraid to talk about Urban Legends. He is an Urban Legend, and a confirmed one by that. Ajax once played 18 holes of golf using a 12 inch strip of rebar and a sun dried tomato. He shot a 54. On the Asian market, Ajax's urine is worth $400 per fluid ounce. See Spot. See Spot run. See Spot's spine get broken by Ajax. Niagara Falls is the result of one of Ajax's legendary cannonballs. Ajax sneezes electricity. Ajax performs colonoscopies on himself. If you were killed by Ajax, your tombstone would read RIP, as in "ripped in pieces". Ajax's smile once brought a puppy back to life. Ajax then killed that puppy as he had not gotten his fix of killing that day. Ajax jumped off the Empire State building and sprained his ankle. He healed his ankle by walking. Ajax lost both his legs in a car accident... and still managed to walk it off. Contrary to popular belief, lottery numbers are not random. They are simply a tally of people Ajax has killed that day. Ajax invented the corndog. The agent of Ajax asked him if he wanted to be in Disaster Movie. Ajax's agent has been missing for almost 2 years now. Never ask Ajax to be in a b-rated budget flick. Ajax is right behind you. Ajax understands 2001: A Space Oddysey's ending. Ajax believes the hype. Ajax can stop the beat. When Ajax crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways. When Ajax picks his nose, he really does find gold. Ajax speaks in all caps. Ajax delivers more male with one thrust of his pelvis than the U.S. Postal Service and the Pony Express have combined for the last 146 years. Ajax wasn't born with feet, he was born with boots. Ajax won a pissing contest against a Russian racing horse. When Ajax throws a boomerang, the boomerang does not return because it's scared to go back. Ajax floats like a butterfly and stings like an MAC round. At Mach 50. In the face. Ajax can dribble a football. Ajax's IQ can be simply expressed as a sideways 8. Ajax is a stunt double for Optimus Prime. Ajax was once asked to repeat himself. The last thing that person ever felt was their spine breaking. Ajax can clap with one hand. Ajax had his tonsels removed with a chainsaw. Ajax digs graves with a shoehorn. Finally, an original one: Ajax won a Darwin Award, but not for dying in a stupid way: for five years he has cleansed the genepool of bad people. Well, that's all for now. S-9 4 04:05, 20 July 2009 (UTC)